


I Can't Be Me Without You

by TheVagabondBoy



Series: Shoot the Sunshine into My Veins [20]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Iron Fist (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), Luke Cage (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Catholicism, Churches & Cathedrals, Crying, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Inaccurate Catholicism, M/M, Marriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Rings, Weddings, soft frank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 05:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12499996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVagabondBoy/pseuds/TheVagabondBoy
Summary: Neither of them can really belive this is actually happening. They're actually getting married. Frank Castle and Matt Murdock are getting married! To each other! It's actually happening!Oh, God, they're nervous...*CHAPTER 2 IS A REWRITE OF CHAPTER 1, MORE INFO IN CHAPTER 2 NOTES*





	1. ORIGINAL

**Author's Note:**

> you knew this was coming
> 
> Title from:  
> You, by Vega4  
> (i have Emotions every time I listen to it and i blame you, molly)

“How do I look?”

Karen just smiled. He’d asked the same question a hundred times already. And like she told him every time:

“You look great, Frank.”

He fiddled with his collar again, straightened his bow tie, flattened out the lapels on his jacket, made sure his shirt was well-tucked, the cummerbund sat right, and the vest looked okay. He stared at himself in the mirror.  _ Fuck, _ why did he have to go and get himself punched in the face a few nights ago? The black eye was still almost  _ glowing _ purple and blue. Karen had tried to cover it with make-up, but that was an effort they both gave up on rather quickly; no matter what she slapped on him, the damn thing shone through like it was made of fucking  _ neon. _

Shit...he hoped Matt wouldn’t mind it.

Hell, why was he even worried? Matt could hear him clear as day, he probably already knew about the black eye. And really, they had both dragged themselves home with a hell of a lot worse.

“You got the rings, right?” Frank asked, also for the hundredth time.

But Karen had the patience of a damn Saint, and neither Frank nor Matt deserved her.

“Yes, I have the rings.” she said. “It’s gonna be okay, Frank. Everything will be perfect.”

Frank nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m just...” he tried. “It...it was the same on me and Maria’s wedding day.”

Karen came to stand beside him in front of the mirror. She pet his back, and smiled softy.

“I’s goin’ crazy back then, too. But...soon as I saw her comin’ down the aisle, it stopped. And everythin’ was just...quiet. She was like an Angel come down from Heaven. Don’t know what I ever did to deserve her. Sure as hell don’t deserve Matt either.”

Karen pulled him over to the vanity table and made him sit. Though she had given up on it once already, she picked up the comb and started working on his steel-wool hair again.

“Listen to me, Frank. Love isn’t about deserving someone.” she told him, struggling the comb over his head. “It’s...about working as hard as you can, every single day, so that maybe one day, you’ll be the kind of person to deserve them. And the kind of person they deserve.”

If he hadn’t been a little scared of what she’d do to him if he moved while she worked, he would have nodded.

He’d never stop loving Maria, he knew that and Matt did too. Matt would never stop loving Elektra either, and Frank didn’t fault him for that. But together, maybe they could put the past behind them; move on, in some way. A part of them would always be stuck there, back then, with them. But there was also the part that was in the  _ here and now, _ the part they had given each other and would give each other again today.

“You’re sure you don’t wanna trim the beard more?”

Before he could answer and tell her that  _ no, it’s good, Matt likes it like this, _ there was a knock at the door. Karen patted his shoulder and gave him the comb, then hurried over.

“Jessica Jones, right?” Karen asked, once having opened the door.

“Yeah.” the woman answered. “Wedding photographer  extraordinaire .”

Frank snorted. “Get in here, Jess, ‘fore I change my mind ‘bout hirin’ you for this shit.”

Jessica scoffed at him as she entered. “Oh, please, like you’ll actually pay me shit for this.”

Frank laughed, and he heard the camera shutter go off about a hundred times.

*

_ “Matt! _ Hey, sorry I’m late!” Foggy said as he burst into the dressing room. “Court went long.”

_ “Oh, thank Christ, _ you’re here, Fog!” Matt said, relieved as all hell. “I need your help.”

He turned to his friend quickly, displaying the mess he’d made of his bow tie. Matt had worn a tie pretty much every day since college, but damn if he remembered how the hell to tie a bow tie.

Foggy dropped his bag and coat, then hurried over to help.

“It’s okay, Matt,  _ just breathe. _ It’s no big deal.” he insisted as he got to work. “You’re just nervous, that’s normal. Perfectly normal.”

Matt was practically vibrating;  _ no shit, he was fucking nervous! _ He was getting married in less than an hour.  _ To Frank! _ Oh, fuck, he was going to throw up, he was so nervous, shit.

He hoped Frank was doing better; on Karen’s insistence that  _ it’ll be romantic, _ they hadn’t seen each other in a week. So  _ not only _ was Matt more nervous than he’d ever been before, but he was also  _ extremely _ sexually frustrated because no matter what, no one got him off as good as Frank did, which meant he hadn’t gotten off in a week. Which, considering how often they had sex, was  _ a fucking lifetime. _

Fuck, he could  _ smell _ Frank from here. He almost ached for him, for hearing his voice and holding his hand and kissing him. It took everything Matt had not to listen in on him and Karen; Frank was probably freaking out a little,  _ or a lot, _ too, and Matt was pretty sure Frank wanted to keep the witness list as short as possible.

“There.” Foggy said finally, straightening the bow tie. “You look great, Matt.”

The blind man swallowed, nodding and flattening the vest and lapels out over his chest.

“Thanks. I just...I’m just-“

Foggy grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it tightly to show his support.

“I get it.” he said. “And...yeah, I’m not Castle’s biggest fan, but...if you love him as much as you obviously do, he can’t be  _ all _ bad, right?”  


Matt nodded again. He tried to focus on his breathing. He just had to get through the ceremony. Everything after that...they’d face it together, him and Frank.

“And I was on the phone with Karen on my way here, she says he’s freaking out about as bad as you are.  _ Worse, _ maybe.” Foggy continued. “So...he obviously  _ cares. _ About  _ you, _ and about  _ this. _ And I’m here, and Karen’s here, and Claire and your vigilante buddies will be here any minute.  _ Nothing _ will go wrong. And even if it does,  _ we’ll fix it. _ You know why?”

Matt, still trying to keep his breathing relatively steady, shook his head.

“Because law firm or no law firm, we’re still  _ Nelson and Murdock.” _ Foggy said, determined as hell. “And we’ve been through worse than a wedding. You literally fight  _ ninjas _ on a regular basis. A wedding is  _ nothing _ compared to that.”

The blind man couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“You’re right.”

Foggy was right. It was a wedding, no big deal. He just had to go up there, say some stuff, repeat after Father Lantom, say  _ I do, _ put the ring on Frank’s finger, and that was it. That was all of it. Then, they’d go wherever Frank had planned for their honeymoon, they’d fuck like bunnies for a few days, and everything would be perfect.

*

_ Okay, _ things would get started in just a few minutes, Jessica had been in to get a few pictures of him and the best man, everyone else had arrived and were chatting idly to pass the time, Foggy was on the phone with Karen to coordinate the last details, and  _ Matt was dying. _

This was actually happening.

Frank was going to walk down the aisle with Karen, then Matt would walk down the aisle with Foggy. They’d stand in front of God, Father Lantom, and some friends, and get married.  _ Oh, shit...shit, shit, shit, fucking shit. _ Matt was so excited it felt like he was about to explode, but he was so nervous he felt two seconds away from throwing up.

He paced in his dressing room. Foggy watched him; he’d given up on trying to make him sit still.

“Matt.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s time.”  


_ “Oh, fuck...” _

*

It felt weird to walk down the aisle.

He had Karen on his arm, and that made him feel a little better, he supposed. His heart was running away with him, a swarm of butterflies were doing acrobatic stunts in his stomach, and it felt like he was about to forget how to walk. Jessica was standing at the end of the aisle, snapping pictures of them.

Everyone sat in the front row, on either side the aisle. Even if they’d all been on one side, they wouldn’t have been enough to fill one pew. It didn’t matter. As long as Matt showed up, Frank didn’t care who was there to watch.

Father Lantom still looked at him like he thought Frank wasn’t worthy of Matt. Hell, Frank agreed with him. But at least Lantom was doing it. And yeah, he was only doing it because Matt begged him to, but that was good enough for Frank.

They reached the end of the aisle. He and Karen gave each other a short hug, before taking their places. She was on his left, and Lantom on his right. Frank turned back to the aisle, to wait for Matt. He shot a short smile at Jessica and the camera. She smiled back, when she lowered it.

It was weird to stand there.

Of the guests, Jessica was probably the only person he could confidently name. But that blond woman, that was Jessica’s sister, right? Frank could remember Jessica mentioning her once, or twice. Something on T. Tasha. Tonya. No...that wasn’t right.  _ Tina, _ maybe? He honestly couldn’t say. The bulletproof guy was there too, and he was holding hands with Matt’s nurse friend. Next to them, was that rich kid, something Rand, and his girlfriend, who Matt had told him was a devil with a sword.

Frank tugged on his collar, it was a little hard to breathe right with the bow tie so tight around his neck. He ran his hand over his head, flattening his hair out again. He hoped it looked okay. His heart stomped out at his ribcage. Couldn’t Matt just get there already? Frank felt like he was going to fucking sink into the ground and die if he had to just  _ stand there _ for much longer.

He flinched slightly when Karen’s sharp elbow stabbed him in the side. He looked at her, confused, and she nodded towards the aisle. Frank looked up.

_ Oh, shit. _

There Matt was, right at the doors. All dressed up in a tux of his own and looking more handsome than ever, and...God, there was something about him. He seemed to  _ glow. _ He smiled like he’d never been happier, squeezing Foggy’s arm as they walked. Those paralyzing blue eyes seemed to look into Frank’s soul, and see only the good.

Frank could fucking cry.

He could have this. He could have Matt, and be happy again. After everything he’d been through, and everything he’d done, he could still stand there and look at the man who would become his husband in just a few minutes. He could still stand there, alive and actually  _ living. _ Frank wasn’t sure what to feel. He was so many things all at once, he couldn’t tell what was what. All he wanted in that moment, was to never leave it; he wanted to stand there, and look at Matt forever, because he was breathtaking.  _ Literally! _ Frank wasn’t sure he could remember how to breathe.

Matt and Foggy hugged as they reached the end of the aisle. Foggy actually smiled  _ at _ Frank, before taking his place on Matt’s other side. And Matt himself...God, Matt. Frank couldn’t describe it. He still smiled, and he still looked like a gift from God Himself.

“Hey.” Matt said.

Frank opened his mouth to answer and all that came out was...nothing. He was speechless. He couldn’t think of a single word to say, because what words could do this justice? It didn’t seem to bother Matt. He just ran his fingers through Frank’s hair, stirring it up into the natural messy curls and waves that Karen had struggled so hard to straighten out.

“I like it better like that.” Matt said, cheeks rosy with a blush.

Again, Frank wanted to answer, but he was just too... _ taken, _ by it all to be able to. All he could do, was just stare at Matt. He was just too amazed for anything else.

“I-I-I...I’m...”

Matt’s smile widened, at how tongue-tied Frank was. His hand resting on Frank’s shoulder slid easily down his arm until he could slip his hand into Frank’s.

“Yeah, same.” he said softly.

Frank smiled at that, taking Matt’s other hand as well. He held them tight.

“Shall we get started?” Lantom asked, smiling almost like a proud father.

Matt cleared his throat quickly, nodding. “Yeah. Yes. Yes, let’s.” he said.

“Alright. Please, be seated.” the Father said.

Frank listened to their guests take their seats again; when had they decided to stand? He glanced at them for a moment.

Jessica was smiling wider than he’d ever seen before, she stood off to the side with the camera at the ready, and her sister just seemed happy to see Jessica that happy. The nurse and the bulletproof guy were sitting close together, she rested her head on his shoulder. Rand and his girl held each other’s hand tightly, smiling back at Frank.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to join these two men in holy matrimony.” Lantom began to lecture. “And to be honest, if you had asked me just weeks ago what kind of wedding I would have imagined for Matthew...well, I would have told you it would be a grand affair. I’d do the whole rigmarole of the traditional Catholic ceremony, and the pews would be packed to the brim.”

Matt’s smile was wider than Frank had ever seen. He never wanted that smile to leave Matt’s face. He wanted to do everything in his power to make sure Matt was this happy for the rest of their lives.

“But, here we are. And perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps something like  _ this, _ is what was meant for our Matthew. Perhaps this is the kind of wedding everyone should wish for. A small thing,” he continued, and gestured between Matt and Frank. ”-with only the grooms, and their nearest and dearest, in attendance. Those, whom the lives of the wedded-to-be would be so much poorer without.”

Frank felt Karen pet his back softly, and he felt as though he had everything he’d ever need right there, in that church, at that moment. He had Matt, and he had their friends; even if Frank really only considered Karen and Jessica his friends, and the others were varying degrees of acquaintances. Either way, they were all Matt’s friends, and that was what was important. All the people there on that day, made Matt happy, and that was all Frank asked of them.

“But I won’t drone on for much longer,” Lantom carried on. ”-because I  _ was _ asked to keep it concise, after all.”

Matt grinned, Frank tried to keep from chuckling, a low wave of little laughs rippled through the small crowd.

“Now, the grooms asked to say a few words to each other. Matthew, would you care to begin?”

Matt nodded. He cleared his throat another time, squeezing Frank’s hands tightly.

“I...I’m speechless.” he admitted.

He looked at Frank with such impossible love, even in those unfocused eyes.

“I’m not sure what to say. I tried to write something. To prepare for this. But...anything I wrote wasn’t good enough. But now, when we’re actually here? I guess I just wanna tell you that...I love you. I love you so much, Frank, and I know most people don’t understand that, because of who  _ you _ are and who  _ I _ am, and...because of  _ everything,  _ I guess.”

Oh, Christ, Frank’s vision was getting misty, a lump was forming in his throat. Fuck, he was  _ not _ going to cry.  _ The Punisher does not cry at weddings. _

“And honestly, I’m not sure I understand it either. But I don’t care. Because nothing else has ever made me feel like this. When I’m with you, I feel like...I feel like I can see. The world’s always on fire for me, but when you’re here, with me, it goes supernova. Everything gets brighter, more defined, and I can see everything is such perfect clarity. And the way  _ you _ shine...I wanna look at you and never stop looking.”

Shit, here came the tears.  _ Fuck! _

There was a shuffle from the pews. Jessica’s sister dug through her purse, then hurried up to the grooms. She offered him a tissue, and an apologetic look for interrupting. Frank took the tissue.

“Thanks.” he said, and was only a little embarrassed by how choked his voice was.

Matt just smiled. He picked the tissue out of Frank’s hand, while the woman, whose name Frank now felt kind of bad for not remembering, hurried back to her seat. Matt dabbed at Frank’s cheeks gently. And more so, on the side with the black-eye. The camera snapped plenty of times.

“Don’t cry, baby.” he said so softly, that Frank barely heard him. “I love you, and you love me too. Remember?”

Frank nodded. He gladly let the tissue sweep across his cheeks, and Matt’s thumb follow in its wake, as if to smooth out his skin again. The touch felt real; it felt like the most real thing in an imaginary world, a made up fantasy world where Frank was allowed to be happy and feel this love again.

He had to clear his throat a few times to get his voice back, once Matt lowered the tissue. He found Matt’s hands and never wanted to let go again. He swallowed that wet lump in his throat. His knees felt like they were about to give out, his whole body was shaking.

_ He could have this. _

“I-It’s not...much in the way of vows, or nothin’, I guess. But I just wanna tell you that...I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel like this again. Didn’t think I’d ever  _ wanna _ feel like this.”

Matt looked so sad for him, so loving and supportive and everything Frank couldn’t have imagined he’d ever see again in someone when they looked at him. Frank held his hands tight. He held onto him as if he was afraid Matt would disappear into the aether if he let go. And he was. God knows he was scared as hell.

“I am... _ so happy, _ that you proved me wrong. Don’t know if I’d be alive if it weren’t for you, sunshine. I mean, whether I’d gotten myself killed doin’ what I do, or if...if I’d blown my own brains out by now. You...”

He had to dry his cheeks again, and breathe for a moment. He could see the tears start to wet Matt’s eyes too.

“You make me feel like...I’m home.”

Matt stole the tissue from his hand again, dried his own cheeks.

“Don’t matter to me where I am. ‘Cause it’s home, if you’re there. And I wanna say that...I’m gonna work like hell, every day. To...to be the kinda person who deserves you. ‘Cause...’cause Lord knows I don’t deserve ya now.”

Even with the tears pouring down his face, Matt smiled as bright as the sun.

“Jessica, are you crying?” someone whispered in the pews.

_ “No. _ Shut up.” Jessica hissed back, hiding behind the camera.  _ “You’re _ crying.”

The Father smiled at them both. “That was lovely.” he said.

Matt dried Frank’s cheeks again.

“Francis Castle, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both sha-“

_ “I do.” _

It barely registered with him that Lantom hadn’t even finished talking. But no one seemed to mind.

“Matthew Michael Murdock, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

_ “I do.” _ Matt answered, and Frank could breathe for the first time in a week.

“Frank, repeat after me, please.”

Frank cleared his throat, held Matt’s hands just a little tighter still.

_ “I, Francis Castle, take you, Matthew Michael Murdock, to be my husband,” _ the Father began.

“I, Francis Castle, take you, Matthew Michael Murdock, to be my husband,” Frank repeated, and was a little surprised his voice actually held up for it.

_ “To have and to hold from this day forward,” _

“To have and to hold from this day forward,”

_ “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,” _

“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

_ “In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,” _

“In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,”

_ “Till death do us part.” _

“Till death do us part.”

Matt was openly weeping into the tissue. Jessica’s sister hurried forward again, passing them the whole packet of tissues. Frank pressed small kisses to Matt’s cheeks, not caring in the smallest bit about the tears that wet his lips.

“Almost there, baby.” he said softly.

Matt nodded. He sniffed into another tissue, while Frank used a third to dab at his cheeks too.

“Do you need a minute, Matthew?” Lantom asked softly, resting a gentle hand on Matt’s shoulder.

The blind man shook his head at that. “No. No, I’m fine, it’s fine.” he said and smiled through the tears. “Go on.”

“Alright. Then repeat after me.” the Father said again. “ _ I, Matthew Michael Murdock, take you, Francis Castle, to be my husband,” _

“I, Matthew Michael Murdock, take you, Francis Castle, to be my husband,”

Frank couldn’t breathe.

_ “To have and to hold from this day forward,” _

“To have and to hold from this day forward,”

They were almost there, just a few more lines to repeat and the rings, then they were done.

_ “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,” _

“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

In just minutes, they’d actually be  _ married. _

_ “In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,” _

“In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,”

He could have this.

_ “Till death do us part.” _

“Till death do us part.”

Frank got another tissue and dried his own cheeks for the hundredth time. God, what a mess they were, the both of them. He was just so happy. So happy to be there, in that moment, with Matt, for once being able to openly show the world how much he loved this man.

Foggy passed Matt a ring, and Karen gave Frank the second.

“Matthew, repeat after me.” Lantom said once more.  _ “I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.” _

Frank’s hand was shaking like all hell when he offered it up.

“I give you this ring as a token and pledge,” Matt repeated, sliding the silvery ring onto Frank’s finger. ”-of our constant faith and abiding love.”

The camera clicked a hundred, a thousand times, backed by soft snivels from all around the small crowd.

“And Frank.” Lantom announced.  _ “I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.” _

It hadn’t been missing anything before, no, but when the ring found its place, Matt’s hand looked  _ whole _ somehow.

“I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”

“Then by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the Catholic Church, I now pronounce you husband and husband.”

The sun exploded in Frank’s chest.

“You may-“

Frank pull Matt to him before Lantom even finished his sentence.

”-kiss.”

They kissed, and it truly felt like Frank had found his way home again.


	2. REWRITE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever since watching tps, Ive been thinking about this fic, and how it feels empty, to me at least, without Curtis and the Liebermans in it. Of course, I couldn’t have foreseen this, since I wrote and posted this before tps came out. I finally decided, though, to do a rewrite of this fic and add in these characters, because I feel they are so extremely important to who Frank is as a character in and of his own, and I feel like they are people he would most definitely want there on this big day!  
> There are of course no major changes in the story itself; there’s some added dialog and such, to accommodate the added characters, but over-all, the work remains the same. Hope you like it! <3

“How do I look?”

Everyone just smiled. He’d asked the same question a hundred times already. And like they had all taken turns reassuring him every single time he asked:

“You look great, Frank.” Karen supplied.

He fiddled with his collar again, straightened his bow tie, flattened out the lapels on his jacket, made sure his shirt was well-tucked, the cummerbund sat right, and the vest looked okay. He stared at himself in the mirror.  _ Fuck, _ why did he have to go and get himself punched in the face a few nights ago? The black eye was still almost  _ glowing _ purple and blue. Karen had tried to cover it with make-up, but that was an effort they both gave up on rather quickly; no matter what she slapped on him, the damn thing shone through like it was made of fucking  _ neon. _

Shit...he hoped Matt wouldn’t mind it.

Hell, why was he even worried? Matt could hear him clear as day, he probably already knew about the black eye. And really, they had both dragged themselves home with a hell of a lot worse.

“You got the rings, right?” Frank asked, also for the hundredth time.

Curt chuckled, shaking his head fondly. “Yeah, I got the rings, man.” he said.

“Just breathe.” Micro added. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Frank nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m just...” he tried. “It...it was the same on me and Maria’s wedding day.”

Karen came to stand beside him in front of the mirror. She pet his back, and smiled softy.

“I’s goin’ crazy back then, too. But...soon as I saw her comin’ down the aisle, it stopped. And everythin’ was just...quiet. She was like an Angel come down from Heaven. Don’t know what I ever did to deserve her. Sure as hell don’t deserve Matt either.”

Karen pulled him over to the vanity table and made him sit. Though she had given up on it once already, she picked up the comb and started working on his steel-wool hair again.

“Listen to me, Frank. Love isn’t about deserving someone.” she told him, struggling the comb over his head. “It’s...about working as hard as you can, every single day, so that maybe one day, you’ll be the kind of person to deserve them. And the kind of person they deserve.”

If he hadn’t been a little scared of what she’d do to him if he moved while she worked, he would have nodded.

He’d never stop loving Maria, he knew that and Matt did too. Matt would never stop loving Elektra either, and Frank didn’t fault him for that. But together, maybe they could put the past behind them; move on, in some way. A part of them would always be stuck there, back then, with them. But there was also the part that was in the  _ here and now, _ the part they had given each other and would give each other again today. He was glad his friends were there to support him, keep him on his feet through this thing.

“You’re sure you don’t wanna trim the beard more?”

Before he could answer and tell her that  _ no, it’s good, Matt likes it like this, _ there was a knock at the door. Micro hurried over to answer.

“Jessica Jones?” he said, once having opened the door.

“Yeah.” the woman confirmed. “Wedding photographer extraordinaire .”

Frank snorted. “Get in here, Jess, ‘fore I change my mind ‘bout hirin’ you for this shit.”

Jessica scoffed at him as she entered. “Oh, please, like you’ll actually pay me shit for this.”

Frank laughed, and he heard the camera shutter go off about a hundred times.

“How do you know each other?” Curt asked, in the vein of polite small talk.

Of course, he didn’t realize how  _ awkward _ that question actually was.

“Uh...Matt.” Jessica said. “He...got me outta jail. We’re...friends?”

*

_ “Matt! _ Hey, sorry I’m late!” Foggy said as he burst into the dressing room. “Court went long.”

_ “Oh, thank Christ, _ you’re here, Fog!” Matt said, relieved as all hell. “I need your help.”

He turned to his friend quickly, displaying the mess he’d made of his bow tie. Matt had worn a tie pretty much every day since college, but damn if he remembered how the hell to tie a bow tie.

Foggy dropped his bag and coat, then hurried over to help.

“It’s okay, Matt,  _ just breathe. _ It’s no big deal.” he insisted as he got to work. “You’re just nervous, that’s normal. Perfectly normal.”

Matt was practically vibrating;  _ no shit, he was fucking nervous! _ He was getting married in less than an hour.  _ To Frank! _ Oh, fuck, he was going to throw up, he was so nervous, shit.

He hoped Frank was doing better; on Karen’s insistence that  _ it’ll be romantic, _ they hadn’t seen each other in a week. So  _ not only _ was Matt more nervous than he’d ever been before, but he was also  _ extremely _ sexually frustrated because no matter what, no one got him off as good as Frank did, which meant he hadn’t gotten off in a week. Which, considering how often they had sex, was  _ a fucking lifetime. _

Fuck, he could  _ smell _ Frank from here. He almost ached for him, for hearing his voice and holding his hand and kissing him. It took everything Matt had not to listen in on him and Karen; Frank was probably freaking out a little,  _ or a lot, _ too, and Matt was pretty sure Frank wanted to keep the witness list as short as possible.

“There.” Foggy said finally, straightening the bow tie. “You look great, Matt.”

The blind man swallowed, nodding and flattening the vest and lapels out over his chest.

“Thanks. I just...I’m just-“

Foggy grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it tightly to show his support.

“I get it.” he said. “And...yeah, I’m not Castle’s biggest fan, but...if you love him as much as you obviously do, he can’t be  _ all _ bad, right?”

Matt nodded again. He tried to focus on his breathing. He just had to get through the ceremony. Everything after that...they’d face it together, him and Frank.

“And I was on the phone with Karen on my way here, she says he’s freaking out about as bad as you are.  _ Worse, _ maybe.” Foggy continued. “So...he obviously  _ cares. _ About  _ you, _ and about  _ this.  _ And I’m here, and Karen’s here, and Castle’s friends are here too, and Claire and your vigilante buddies will be here any minute.  _ Nothing _ will go wrong. And even if it does,  _ we’ll fix it. _ You know why?”

Matt, still trying to keep his breathing relatively steady, shook his head.

“Because law firm or no law firm, we’re still  _ Nelson and Murdock.” _ Foggy said, determined as hell. “And we’ve been through worse than a wedding. You literally fight  _ ninjas _ on a regular basis. A wedding is  _ nothing _ compared to that.”

The blind man couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“You’re right.”

Foggy was right. It was a wedding, no big deal. He just had to go up there, say some stuff, repeat after Father Lantom, say  _ I do, _ put the ring on Frank’s finger, and that was it. That was all of it. Then, they’d go wherever Frank had planned for their honeymoon, they’d fuck like bunnies for a few days, and everything would be perfect.

*

_ Okay, _ things would get started in just a few minutes, Jessica had been in to get a few pictures of him and the best man, everyone else had arrived and were chatting idly to pass the time, Foggy was on the phone with Karen to coordinate the last details, and  _ Matt was dying. _

This was actually happening.

First Karen and Curtis would walk down the aisle together, as Frank’s groomsmen, then Frank would walk with Leo, his best man. Lastly, Matt would walk down the aisle with Foggy. They’d stand in front of God, Father Lantom, and some friends, and get married.  _ Oh, shit...shit, shit, shit, fucking shit. _ Matt was so excited it felt like he was about to explode, but he was so nervous he felt two seconds away from throwing up.

He paced in his dressing room. Foggy watched him; he’d given up on trying to make him sit still.

“Matt.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s time.”

_ “Oh, fuck...” _

*

It felt weird to walk down the aisle.

He had watched Curt and Karen do the walk some moments ago, and they awaited him at the end. He had Leo by his side too, she clung to his arm and beamed like a ray of sunshine, and that made him feel a little better, he supposed. His heart was running away with him, a swarm of butterflies were doing acrobatic stunts in his stomach, and it felt like he was about to forget how to walk. Jessica was standing near the end of the aisle, snapping pictures of them.

Everyone sat in the front row, on either side the aisle. Even if they’d all been on one side, they wouldn’t have been enough to fill one pew. It didn’t matter. As long as Matt showed up, Frank didn’t care who was there to watch.

Father Lantom still looked at him like he thought Frank wasn’t worthy of Matt. Hell, Frank agreed with him. But at least Lantom was doing it. And yeah, he was only doing it because Matt begged him to, but that was good enough for Frank.

They reached the end of the aisle. Leo was practically bouncing off the walls. She waved at her family, and they all smiled and waved back.

“You did great, sweetheart.” Frank said softly. It melted his heart when Leo accepted the fist bump he offered. “You wanna go sit your mom and dad, or you wanna stay here?”

“I’ll sit!” the girl said happily. “I can watch better from there!”

Frank chuckled, as she scurried off. Karen and Curtis both smiled when he looked up at them. God, this was actually happening. They stood to his left, and Lantom was to his right. Frank turned back to the aisle, to wait for Matt. He shot a short smile at Jessica and the camera. She smiled back, when she lowered it.

It was weird to stand there.

Beyond the Liebermans, Jessica was probably the only one of the guests he could confidently name. But that blond woman, that was Jessica’s sister, right? Frank could remember Jessica mentioning her once, or twice. Something on T. Tasha. Tonya. No...that wasn’t right.  _ Tina, _ maybe? He honestly couldn’t say. The bulletproof guy was there too, and he was holding hands with Matt’s nurse friend. Next to them, was that rich kid, something Rand, and his girlfriend, who Matt had told him was a devil with a sword.

Frank tugged on his collar, it was a little hard to breathe right with the bow tie so tight around his neck. He ran his hand over his head, flattening his hair out again. He hoped it looked okay. His heart stomped out at his ribcage. Couldn’t Matt just get there already? Frank felt like he was going to fucking sink into the ground and die if he had to just  _ stand there _ for much longer.

He flinched slightly when Karen’s sharp elbow stabbed him in the side. He looked at her, confused, and she nodded towards the aisle. Frank looked up.

_ Oh, shit. _

There Matt was, right at the doors. All dressed up in a tux of his own and looking more handsome than ever, and...God, there was something about him. He seemed to  _ glow. _ He smiled like he’d never been happier, squeezing Foggy’s arm as they walked. Those paralyzing blue eyes seemed to look into Frank’s soul, and see only the good.

Frank could fucking cry.

He could have this. He could have Matt, and be happy again. After everything he’d been through, and everything he’d done, he could still stand there and look at the man who would become his husband in just a few minutes. He could still stand there, alive and actually  _ living. _ Frank wasn’t sure what to feel. He was so many things all at once, he couldn’t tell what was what. All he wanted in that moment, was to never leave it; he wanted to stand there, and look at Matt forever, because he was breathtaking.  _ Literally! _ Frank wasn’t sure he could remember how to breathe.

Matt and Foggy hugged as they reached the end of the aisle. Foggy actually smiled  _ at _ Frank, before taking his place on Matt’s other side. And Matt himself...God, Matt. Frank couldn’t describe it. He still smiled, and he still looked like a gift from God Himself.

“Hey.” Matt said.

Frank opened his mouth to answer and all that came out was...nothing. He was speechless. He couldn’t think of a single word to say, because what words could do this justice? It didn’t seem to bother Matt. He just ran his fingers through Frank’s hair, stirring it up into the natural messy curls and waves that Karen had struggled so hard to straighten out.

“I like it better like that.” Matt said, cheeks rosy with a blush.

Again, Frank wanted to answer, but he was just too... _ taken, _ by it all to be able to. All he could do, was just stare at Matt. He was just too amazed for anything else.

“I-I-I...I’m...”

Matt’s smile widened, at how tongue-tied Frank was. His hand resting on Frank’s shoulder slid easily down his arm until he could slip his hand into Frank’s.

“Yeah, same.” he said softly.

Frank smiled at that, taking Matt’s other hand as well. He held them tight.

“Shall we get started?” Lantom asked, smiling almost like a proud father.

Matt cleared his throat quickly, nodding. “Yeah. Yes. Yes, let’s.” he said.

“Alright. Please, be seated.” the Father said.

Frank listened to their guests take their seats again; when had they decided to stand? He glanced at them for a moment.

Jessica was smiling wider than he’d ever seen before, she stood off to the side with the camera at the ready, and her sister just seemed happy to see Jessica that happy. The nurse and the bulletproof guy were sitting close together, she rested her head on his shoulder. Rand and his girl held each other’s hand tightly, smiling back at Frank. Zach and Leo were smiling like they’d never done anything else in life; Sarah looked so incredibly happy for Frank and Matt, even while quietly consoling Micro, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to join these two men in holy matrimony.” Lantom began to lecture. “And to be honest, if you had asked me just weeks ago what kind of wedding I would have imagined for Matthew...well, I would have told you it would be a grand affair. I’d do the whole rigmarole of the traditional Catholic ceremony, and the pews would be packed to the brim.”

Matt’s smile was wider than Frank had ever seen. He never wanted that smile to leave Matt’s face. He wanted to do everything in his power to make sure Matt was this happy for the rest of their lives.

“But, here we are. And perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps something like  _ this, _ is what was meant for our Matthew. Perhaps this is the kind of wedding everyone should wish for. A small thing,” he continued, and gestured between Matt and Frank. ”-with only the grooms, and their nearest and dearest, in attendance. Those, whom the lives of the wedded-to-be would be so much poorer without.”

Frank felt Karen pet his back softly, and he felt as though he had everything he’d ever need right there, in that church, at that moment. He had Matt, and he had their friends. All the people there on that day, helped make Matt happy, and that was all Frank asked of them.

“But I won’t drone on for much longer,” Lantom carried on. ”-because I  _ was _ asked to keep it concise, after all.”

Matt grinned, Frank tried to keep from chuckling, a low wave of little laughs rippled through the small crowd.

“Now, the grooms asked to say a few words to each other. Matthew, would you care to begin?”

Matt nodded. He cleared his throat another time, squeezing Frank’s hands tightly.

“I...I’m speechless.” he admitted.

He looked at Frank with such impossible love, even in those unfocused eyes.

“I’m not sure what to say. I tried to write something. To prepare for this. But...anything I wrote wasn’t good enough. But now, when we’re actually here? I guess I just wanna tell you that...I love you. I love you so much, Frank, and I know most people don’t understand that, because of who  _ you _ are and who  _ I _ am, and...because of  _ everything, _ I guess.”

Oh, Christ, Frank’s vision was getting misty, a lump was forming in his throat. Fuck, he was not going to cry.  _ The Punisher does not cry at weddings. _

“And honestly, I’m not sure I understand it either. But I don’t care. Because nothing else has ever made me feel like this. When I’m with you, I feel like...I feel like I can see. The world’s always on fire for me, but when you’re here, with me, it goes supernova. Everything gets brighter, more defined, and I can see everything is such perfect clarity. And the way  _ you _ shine...I wanna look at you and never stop looking.”

Shit, here came the tears.  _ Fuck! _

There was a shuffle from the pews. Jessica’s sister dug through her purse, then hurried up to the grooms. She offered him a tissue, and an apologetic look for interrupting. Frank took the tissue.

“Thanks.” he said, and was only a little embarrassed by how choked his voice was.

Matt just smiled. He picked the tissue out of Frank’s hand, while the woman, whose name Frank now felt kind of bad for not remembering, hurried back to her seat. Matt dabbed at Frank’s cheeks gently. And more so, on the side with the black-eye. The camera snapped plenty of times.

“Don’t cry, baby.” he said so softly, that Frank barely heard him. “I love you, and you love me too. Remember?”

Frank nodded. He gladly let the tissue sweep across his cheeks, and Matt’s thumb follow in its wake, as if to smooth out his skin again. The touch felt real; it felt like the most real thing in an imaginary world, a made up fantasy world where Frank was allowed to be happy and feel this love again.

He had to clear his throat a few times to get his voice back, once Matt lowered the tissue. He found Matt’s hands and never wanted to let go again. He swallowed that wet lump in his throat. His knees felt like they were about to give out, his whole body was shaking.

_ He could have this. _

“I-It’s not...much in the way of vows, or nothin’, I guess. But I just wanna tell you that...I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel like this again. Didn’t think I’d ever  _ wanna _ feel like this.”

Matt looked so sad for him, so loving and supportive and everything Frank couldn’t have imagined he’d ever see again in someone when they looked at him. Frank held his hands tight. He held onto him as if he was afraid Matt would disappear into the aether if he let go. And he was. God knows he was scared as hell.

“I am...  _ so happy, _ that you proved me wrong. Don’t know if I’d be alive if it weren’t for you, sunshine. I mean, whether I’d gotten myself killed doin’ what I do, or if...if I’d blown my own brains out by now. You...”

He had to dry his cheeks again, and breathe for a moment. He could see the tears start to wet Matt’s eyes too.

“You make me feel like...I’m home.”

Matt stole the tissue from his hand again, dried his own cheeks.

“Don’t matter to me where I am. ‘Cause it’s home, if you’re there. And I wanna say that...I’m gonna work like hell, every day. To...to be the kinda person who deserves you. ‘Cause...’cause Lord knows I don’t deserve ya now.”

Even with the tears pouring down his face, Matt smiled as bright as the sun.

“Jessica, are you crying?” someone whispered in the pews.

_ “No. _ Shut up.” Jessica hissed back, hiding behind the camera.  _ “You’re _ crying.”

The Father smiled at them both. “That was lovely.” he said.

Matt dried Frank’s cheeks again.

“Francis Castle, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both sha-“

_ “I do.” _

It barely registered with him that Lantom hadn’t even finished talking. But no one seemed to mind.

“Matthew Michael Murdock, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

_ “I do.” _ Matt answered, and Frank could breathe for the first time in a week.

“Frank, repeat after me, please.”

Frank cleared his throat, held Matt’s hands just a little tighter still.

_ “I, Francis Castle, take you, Matthew Michael Murdock, to be my husband,” _ the Father began.

“I, Francis Castle, take you, Matthew Michael Murdock, to be my husband,” Frank repeated, and was a little surprised his voice actually held up for it.

_ “To have and to hold from this day forward,” _

“To have and to hold from this day forward,”

_ “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,” _

“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

_ “In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,” _

“In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,”

_ “Till death do us part.” _

“Till death do us part.”

Matt was openly weeping into the tissue. Jessica’s sister hurried forward again, passing them the whole packet of tissues. Frank pressed small kisses to Matt’s cheeks, not caring in the smallest bit about the tears that wet his lips.

“Almost there, baby.” he said softly.

Matt nodded. He sniffed into another tissue, while Frank used a third to dab at his cheeks too.

“Do you need a minute, Matthew?” Lantom asked softly, resting a gentle hand on Matt’s shoulder.

The blind man shook his head at that. “No. No, I’m fine, it’s fine.” he said and smiled through the tears. “Go on.”

“Alright. Then repeat after me.” the Father said again.  _ “I, Matthew Michael Murdock, take you, Francis Castle, to be my husband,” _

“I, Matthew Michael Murdock, take you, Francis Castle, to be my husband,”

Frank couldn’t breathe.

_ “To have and to hold from this day forward,” _

“To have and to hold from this day forward,”

They were almost there, just a few more lines to repeat and the rings, then they were done.

_ “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,” _

“For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,”

In just minutes, they’d actually be married.

_ “In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,” _

“In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,”

He could have this.

_ “Till death do us part.” _

“Till death do us part.”

Frank got another tissue and dried his own cheeks for the hundredth time. God, what a mess they were, the both of them. He was just so happy. So happy to be there, in that moment, with Matt, for once being able to openly show the world how much he loved this man.

Foggy passed Matt a ring, and Curt gave Frank the second.

“Matthew, repeat after me.” Lantom said once more.  _ “I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.” _

Frank’s hand was shaking like all hell when he offered it up.

“I give you this ring as a token and pledge,” Matt repeated, sliding the silvery ring onto Frank’s finger. ”-of our constant faith and abiding love.”

The camera clicked a hundred, a thousand times, backed by soft snivels from all around the small crowd.

“And Frank.” Lantom announced.  _ “I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.” _

It hadn’t been missing anything before, no, but when the ring found its place, Matt’s hand looked  _ whole _ somehow.

“I give you this ring as a token and pledge of our constant faith and abiding love.”

“Then by the virtue of the authority vested in me by the Catholic Church, I now pronounce you husband and husband.”

The sun exploded in Frank’s chest.

“You may-“

Frank pull Matt to him before Lantom even finished his sentence.

”-kiss.”

They kissed, and it truly felt like Frank had found his way home again. 

**Author's Note:**

> get ready for the honeymoon  
> might be a while, bc i finished this bit and i just NEEDED to share it, so the honeymoon will be a fic of its own, and OH MAN its gonna be a lot of porn
> 
> (and maybe to clear it up, bc i noticed i mightve been a little hazy on this point: on paper, legally, theyre technically still not married. This is mostly because Frank couldnt exactly walk into a courthouse and apply for a marriage license. The marriage is more a symbolic thing for them, than about the legal shit anyway, in my mind)  
> <3


End file.
